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How to embrace your failures & learn from them.

How to embrace your failures & learn from them.

4/05/20

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Are you wondering how to embrace your failures & learn from them? Before Thomas Edison succeeded at inventing the lightbulb, he had to try many times, nearly 10,000 times to be exact.

Either the filament would not burn long enough to provide light, or the product being used could not withstand exposure to oxygen or heat, or the resources were way too expensive.

You should also know that he was NOT the only person trying to succeed at this invention, but the difference between him and the others was probably the fact that he learned at his failed attempts and adjusted until it was more than satisfactory.

Had the light bulb not been invented successfully, we would most likely still be walking around with kerosene lamps & candles. Can you imagine a life like that for the rest of your days?

Introduction

Bonjour darling, and welcome back to another installment of the blogcast. In today’s piece, we’re talking all about failure and why it’s the secret sauce to making your future spicier. 

This is not a science piece but rather a lesson to learn about seeking guidance from your failures. As the world is changing at an increasingly alarming rate, it can sometimes feel hard to keep up. The FOMO intensifies, we’re forcing ourselves to make it happen, comparison & fear gets stronger, and failing at our aspirations feels like a plague. 

Before we dive into today’s episode, I do want to highlight that this episode is brought to you by the Mindset Reset Activator training. Inside this audio training, I share with you the 3 mindset barriers preventing you from activating wealth, pleasure and abundance in all areas of your life.

The principles can be applied to your career, relationships, business, and overall lifestyle starting today. To receive immediate access, CLICK HERE!

What You Will Discover:

  • Why some of us can’t move through failure and why it drives us into chronic comparison & fear
  • The 3 lessons to take from failure & why it’s a good thing
  • How I dealt with failing time and time again in my business & goals

Featured on the Show: Download the Mindset Reset Activator Training.


Assuming that you’re currently NOT in any dyer life situation, here’s a quick exercise, take a look around you right now “whether you’re at home, work, a restaurant, the beach, etc” and ask yourself, were you always at this point?

How long did it take you to get here? Did you always have this vision for your life?

Or think of a major milestone you just achieved, a new client, a new promotion, a new salary increase, launching a blog, losing weight, newfound confidence, etc.

Did you at one point think this would never happen? Was it too hard? Why did you continue… 

You see, when the desires of our hearts are so strong and the motivation to achieve something is deeply driven by our souls, we keep going until it manifests.

But there are those moments of failure when we think that we’re not good enough, strong enough, capable enough, worthy enough, of any of it. 

Our subconscious has been programmed by fear and problems instead of possibilities. And when failure hits, it takes a massive emotional blow. Our brain & self can feel shame, guilt, self-defeat and it can feel exhaustingly overwhelming. Especially if it happens time and time again.

Many of us have not been taught how to deal with failure growing up, so we automatically resort to the negative spectrum of the situation and stay there for Way too long. 

It’s a negative cycle that needs to stop, thus, if the perspective was redirected, it’s also a great opportunity to learn 3 things that can favor our lives moving forward. 

  1. Failing is actually necessary to succeed. 
  2. It makes the win so much more worthwhile. 
  3. Failing builds resilience, confidence & growth. 

Why is failure necessary?

After my quarter-life crisis, I set a huge goal for myself. I spent a lot of time watching classic movies “still do” but one of my favorites was Funny Face, and it left me in awe.

The singing musical as they run around Paris made me want to BE THERE! And as I researched, I realized that the trip would cost me approximately $3,000 US.

In my currency, that’s an entire year’s worth of my rent. At first, I was taken aback and had NO  idea HOW I would ever afford that. But the desire was so strong that I decided to be there whilst being here.

That meant for me living vicariously through google maps, french blogs, french language classes, and Pinterest. A strong part of me felt like I would fail for an entire year, and I did.

One year later, the money still was not there, and I was still in debt. But then 6 months into year 2 of holding that desire, something truly magical happened.

I won an apartment stay valued at 1,000 euros from one of the sites I frequent through a contest, and miraculously all other doors opened up. The visa, the mini loan, the specially priced plane ticket, the connections to the French Embassy.

Had I given up on that desire based on the price point, I would NEVER be able to experience it.


Why is it so much more worthwhile? 

There is a saying that when something is handed to you, you don’t value it as much whereas if you worked for it.

To an extent that is true, it’s a mindset principle, but working towards a goal or a desire after many attempts will make that moment of winning so much more liberating & fun.

It’s like baking a cake the first time, holding onto hope that it turns out good, but when it comes out of the oven, it flops.

And you keep trying and trying until you become a master at it. This principle of failing is where the integration of adjusting as you go along comes into play. Every time you work at something and fail, you did not in actuality fail.

You just missed 1 imperative step and the process continues until you get it right, which means enjoying the win becomes a grander experience. 


Resilience, Growth, Confidence. 

There is nothing more powerful that failure can teach us than these 3 components, at least to me.  Creating something, a goal, a business, a trip, anything, are faced with constant obstacles, and MANY moments of wanting to give up.

During this time your self-doubt and comparison to others quadruple, you beat yourself up, the self-defeat intensifies, and you question your worth, values, and everything!!

But again, if that desire is deeply stemming from your soul you keep pressing on, this teaches us resilience, this helps us develop stronger confidence in ourselves and this essentially helps us grow.

Through experiencing failures we get to understand exactly who we are, and what we’re capable of if we keep pressing on.

We develop stronger characteristics we never thought possible. And we, in turn, teach others to do the same. 

Finding Purpose

This is how I found my life purpose in supporting other women. When I first started coaching, I had MANY self-defeating moments, I wanted to quit MANY times, I compared my business to others, I changed my avenue out just wanting a win and did NOT enjoy it, I deleted my website, programs, everything and TRIED AGAIN.

And as I tried and tried, I picked out the lessons, I sought evidence of my character growing, I highlighted my milestones and I incorporated them all into the next step.

Doing that allowed me to believe in myself more and my ability to teach women how to create a better way of living, develop their self-confidence, and cultivate a wealthier lifestyle.

That allowed me to develop better business skills and practices. Doing that helped me create a brand that gives me the joy to create instead of just the vanity metrics AND I will continue to do so.

I will continue to fail, BUT I FAIL FORWARD, not in self-defeat. So you see, failure really is essential for any breakthrough, any win, any success, and from those lessons YOU get to decide how you design your future, lifestyle & successes.

Learning & Takeaway

If you learn how to deal with it by extracting value from them, you get to grow with it, you get to add more spice and excitement into your next step.

And it’s from that space you become better and stronger at what you get to create.

There are other lessons you can learn from your failures, but these are my takeaways based on my personal experience.

And I’m still growing and incorporating, so I want you to begin practicing that. Instead of you looking at your failures as such, as yourself, what lessons & value points can you extract from that. How can you incorporate it as you move forward?

Thanks for joining in. 

Xx Bisous. 


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